what im going to get Jack for Christmas

This is to remind myself

For christmas I'm going to get jack a customized football jersey with the numer 77 on it!

Last but not Final blog

So, this is my last blog entry that is required for the class....



I thought about writting something poingant, but my best friend just started hitting me in the head with boxing gloves and humping the back of my chair.



Life is pretty interesting which is good. I just spared with my friend. I wanted to try some of the kicks from karate.



Thats why life is good, life is good because even though i'm having a bad couple of days, i know that i will get through it and will probably be better for it.



I can learn from my mistakes



Cliche Cliche Cliche, but who cares.



Maybe my ne

What a Blog is

I havn't written much this semester, but I have nonetheless enjoyed this blog and i hope i will continue to update it as a part of my schedule, because writting these things down can be helpful.

When you write a blog, you just kinda pour the contents of your brain into an electronic format that can be viewed again.

Blogs can be bad too, but bad in a way that teaches you. I reread some blogs a while back that i had written 2 years ago and I thought the things i said then were really stupid and things were blown out of porportion. it was nice to see that i have matured at least a little bit since I came to college.

Well... I think that I am going to go do bed now. I have to be up at 5:30

Doesnt that suck?

The sad reality of college life and doing work at the last minute

This blog is completely terrible. Honestly, I could be telling you anything just so i get a decent sized blog. i prefer quality over quantity so this kind of time is a terrible time for me.

So I have to do all this stuff withing a certain amount of time and alot of it is less than great.

This blog is terrible

My english paper is terrible

My psych journal was terrible

My psych research credits were terrible as well

When Finals and this end of the semester BS is over with, im probably going to go home and sleep for like 2 weeks and pray fervently that i never forget to check a sylibus for all required work in that class

I have removed the distractions from my life... I think

So, I have like 5 million things to do before wednesday at 9am. So yeasterday I was chilling in my room and I was feeling pretty terrible, I was working on my stuff and I suddenly had the most powerful urge to play a video game.

My responce to this was to instantly grab my gamecube and force the guys across the hall to borrow it. I first just move the game system itself into their room. They were confused, but i told them not to let me see it, hear it, smell it, or taste it. They then asked if they could have the wires, the controllers, and the games too and i agreed.

I can hear it right now, and it is very tempting... I want to go into Artis and Alvin's room. I want to sit down with a controller in my hand and choose my contender; he is Mario. he is mighty.

But I will not, I told myself that I was going to wait and finish the things in my life that are really important. A sad additcion to moving pictures and button input does not own me.

I am a student first and a smasher second.

Running out of Time

Man, I'm just running out of time. I have a psychology journal, and military science, and a COH paper to do tonight at some point in time. Then I have to find a way to complete my research requirement for psychology. and i have to finish off all of my journal entries for English.

Right now i'm sitting in Levelle's room and I'm typing my tenth jounral entry. Im worried about pretty much everything im doing and im not sure if im going to be able to finish alot of it. I just realied about 3 seconds ago that I'm going to be pulling a monster all nighter most likely

I really need some sleep.

My Breakdown

So, I've talked about the fact that I never seem to get to bed at a decent hour. So Thrusday wasn't very different. I was hanging out with some friends and of course i was driving. I was kinda sleepy and was thinking about calling it a night, but then somehow we decided we were going to hang out in a Waffle House all night. I didn't really want to, but I was kinda in a mood to hang out. i droped my friends Eryn and Christian off and when back to Southern to pick up someone that wanted to come. At 1:30 am all the Parking spaces that are close to my dorm are taken so I just parked close to the building in a place that wasn't a real parking space. I went to get my friend, Jack, and he took a little while to get ready (it might have been 15 minutes) and while he was gathering his stuff I cleaned my room up a little bit.

So he was then ready and we left, As I walked out the door I see this short stumpy woman doing something to my vehicle. I walked over and asked, "whats going on over here." I was getting a ticket. Even though there was no traffic and there was enough room for a car to get past I was obstructing traffic. I started off just stating those obvious facts. Also that I was temporarily paking there like 500 people do everyday. The conversation quickly became an angry arguement. I ripped the ticket up in the power hungry security guards presence just to illistrate how little power she really had. I got in my car and I drove away.

I was so angry or maybe not angry. This kind of unfairness always happens to me. Everyone and their brother could park there during the day with cars coming and going for over and hour if they wanted too. I park there at night with no cars moving and I get a ticket.

All that I could think about were all the horrible things I wanted to say to her like:

"thats fine you disgusting ugly fatass, you can give me a ticket, whatever make you feel better about you worthless life"

"Thats fine whatever make you feel better about your dry loose pussy, im sure this ticket will fill your fantasies"

"I'm glad you feel so powerful, and i hope you feel the same way when im making more money than you in a job i like doing, You, yes you bitch. you really should have gone to college and done something instead of wasting you life as a glorified metermaid with and ugly face and a fat ass"

Crude yes. Very crude. But at the time I would have said anything, but i didn't.

So I drove away and was almost fine. and then something hit me. I threw my car into park and laid on the horn. Then I started yelling it was the same yell loud and quick but over and over and over and over again. Then my entire body just flailed and punched and kicked. Then, I started yelling again and i ran out of the Cab of my truck. I threw myself on the ground and i just cried. I hadn't cried in at least a year. There isn't anything wrong with crying, but it's not a reaction I normally have. So I just cried and cried and cried.

The phrase inferiority complex has been applied before. Everything I don't do write came rushing in to haunt me. Every flaw I have came to mind, and I'm not really sure why.

I'm still feelin the effects. I had a really insecure weekend. Things don't seem to be getting better. I still feel like crushing that metermaid's head like an Fortune Cookie. That can't be healthy, and I'm not really sure how to get help.